Happy Loving Day 2011

It’s at the middle of the year and it’s time to celebrate Loving Day! Freedom of LOVE, something we always take for granted. The right to love, to be loved, and the right to get married to the one precious to us!

I’ve dated Irish, Dominicen, Italian, French, and Chinese, and maybe some that I forgot… Did you know that just a generation ago I would have gotten arrested? And If I ended up marrying one of these guys, except for the Chinese, I would have ended up in jail in some US states. Come to think of it, it was still illegal for interracial marriage in some states when Barack Obama was born.

That is exactly what happened to Mr. and Mrs Loving in Virginia. They got arrested at the middle of the night in their home. They pleaded guilty and were sentenced to one year in prison, with the sentence suspended for 25 years on condition that the couple leave the state of Virginia. Below is what the judge said:

“Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.”

Thanks to them for not conforming and appealing their case all the way to the supreme court, on June 12, 1967, in the case of Loving v. Virginia, the convictions were overturned. It struck down all anti-miscegenation laws remaining in 16 states citing: “There can be no doubt that restricting the freedom to marry solely because of racial classifications violates the central meaning of the equal protection clause.”

So today, please get up, get out there, join a Loving Day Celebration, or host one! Because freedom of love is something that we have to fight for, and this fight is not over yet. Our previous generation fought the freedom of love for interracial couples, and now it’s our turn to fight for same sex couples. I wish same sex marriage will be legalized everywhere in our generation.

Thanks to Ken Tanabe, the founder of Loving Day, who introduced me to this meaningful celebration a few years ago. Sorry I will not be able to attend and volunteer at your fabulous event in New York this year since I’m not in town, but I would love to promote it here

Special shout out to my friends Winnie & Joshua – Congratulations! You’re getting married on such a meaningful day, I’m sure the weather will be GORGEOUS!

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Finally Found Peace, I’m Not Angry Anymore!

My life has always been a roller coaster ride filled with drama. Growing up was hard, I was always bittered but I always acted happy and always pulled through. It got better after I moved to New York, I guess it was because I started having a career with never ending things to do, although drama still existed in a different form.

I got to be honest, I was starting to fall apart after I broke up with my ex two years ago. It was the toughest break up I’ve ever been through. I stopped dating completely, I couldn’t even flirt with any men for a long time. I buried myself into work, I was working crazy hours, trying to feel accomplished in some way. When my work didn’t really go anywhere, I felt completely trapped and useless, and I wanted to break free. I was always calm and driven and focus on the outside, but my inside was shred into pieces. It was not just about the breakup, or my career; it was about everything, the childhood, the growing up, everything that had gone wrong in my life.

Last year I decided to quit my job and throw myself into the universe (the world), in the name of traveling, networking, and studying. The truth is, I was trying to find myself! I want to get lost in the world because I’m lost, completely lost. I guess this is kind of like my own version of “Eat Pray Love” the novel.

6 countries and exactly 11 months later, today in Barcelona, I’m finally calm. Looking at the ocean, I’m truly smiling, from the bottom of my heart. I’m not angry anymore! I’m not angry with the world, my mom, my ex, my cousin, nor that thug who hurt me. TODAY, I feel like a new person. I’m not mad at the people that had done me wrong anymore. Instead, I feel sorry for them because they have to live with what they had done, and not me. I cannot say I’ll forgive and forget because that is very very difficult to do, but at least for this moment I can tell you that I’m at peace, and I’m not angry anymore.

A few more weeks with a few more trips later, after I visit almost all the people I care about, I’m going to settle down and start a new life. I don’t know where life will take me and what exactly I’ll be doing, except that everything is going to be just fine.

 

 

 

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Bye Bye Shanghai…for now

I’ve had the time of my life
And I’ve never felt this way before
And I swear this is true
And I owe it all to you

I definitely had one of the best time of my life in the past 6 months in Shanghai, and I have to owe it to my new Shanghai family and my classmates. I would like to dedicate this entry to my Shanghai family since I’m going to see my classmates in less than a week in Italy

 

My dear Shanghai family,

I’m very happy and thankful to have met you all, it’s only been such a short time but I felt really love by you all. I’ve cried a little but laugh so much more. And thanks to you I found my next home, which I’ll be back in July to build.

There are so many things I’m going to miss, that I’ll think about and put a smile on my face while I’m away….family mart, my Starbucks & eggs for breakfast, cappuccino & tiramisu as dessert, M1NT parties, gossip Sunday, 8 hour long brunch date, soup dumplings, late night McDonalds, world map with flags all over it, working from home VS off-site meetings, Blue Frog gathering, weekly crepes, meeting cool ppl while doing my nails…oooh and definitely the really funny conversations at dinner/drinks on my last days

There are so much more I want to do when I get back…I would like a more routine life, yoga and exercise, eating more healthy, putting my home together, girls night in, movie nights, building my career, boat parties, hiking, and definitely want to enjoy everyone’s company with many many more laughter

I don’t think I’ll miss drinking 6 days in a row, but please don’t hesitate to remind me if I missed anything above

Love…Kate

A special shout out to my new BFF in Shanghai aka my future roommate: we cross path with so many people everyday, there’s not many that we would talk to or make friends, let alone became best friends. You’re the best thing that happened in my journey, finding a sister definitely triumph meeting any hot boys I will miss you the most, and I hope to see you soon in Europe.

Telepathy or Coincidence?

I believe that anything is possible. However, unless it really happens around you, it is very difficult to actually grasp the idea and to actually believe. I “think” the closer you are with the person, the easier you are to connect; and by closer, I don’t mean physical distance but mental.

It was my 3rd year in college, I was still living in Hong Kong. I had a car back then, a Civic. I didn’t particularly like to drive in Hong Kong since I had a really bad sense of direction, so I usually drove to pick up my friends and I’ll let one of the guys drive. Today was no different…

About 6am in the morning, we decided to leave the club and drove to a mountain for breakfast. Please do not ask why, we used to do stupid things like that, it’s not the first time. My friend was driving while I was on the passenger seat, with three more people at the back. Everything was normally at the beginning, it started to rain when we got to the bridge…and then it started to pour…really hard…

The car started to skid, and then it started to spin. It hit the wall on the bridge, then the airbag came out and hit my face…thank god no car hit us. Smoke was starting to come out from the hood, ee got out of the car and called for help…

Our friends came to pick us up, a toll truck came to took my car to the shop. Since there were no one else involved we didn’t even have to report it to the police. To be honest with you it was quite a traumatic experience, I think we were still a bit in shock when our friends came to pick us up. I didn’t even notice the pain until my friends told me that I was bleeding, my face was bleeding. The stitching on the airbag had cut my face from the corner of my left eye to the corner of my lip!

My friend took me to the hospital to take care of my wound, my god now I can really felt the pain. I went home afterwards to face my family. My dad didn’t give me a hard time even though the car was almost completely trashed, I guess it was really no point to yell at me then, and he must be in pain to see my face like that…anyway, I was trying to stay strong and still had not shred a tear yet…

That night, I receive a call from Andy, my high school sweetheart, from Vancouver. I really didn’t want to worry him, so I was pretending to be giddy. BUT, the first thing he said to me was, ‘is everything OK?’ I was still pretending and I said, ‘what are you talking about?” And then he said “well, I had a dream last night, in the dream we were in my old car (he used to drive a Civic also), it was pouring rain outside, and you wouldn’t stop crying, is everything OK?” At that moment, I broke down and couldn’t stop crying…

Telepathy or coincidence?

After note: Thought you should know, it took me many months of very strict diet, but my porcelain face is completely healed

RIP – My Dear Friend

Yesterday was a really sad day. It’s one of my good friend’s memorial and I couldn’t even attend because I had an interview in a different city. I couldn’t really believe the news when I heard it two weeks ago, it was such a shock…She’s a friend from my ‘previous’ life. I want to write about her today, my memory of her. Let’s give her a name, shall we? Let’s call her Jane.

I met Jane when I was studying in international school in Hong Kong. I was 18. We were instant friends because we were from the same hometown and we actually had some mutual friends back home. I remembered that she found me rather odd. There would be days that I missed school, she would call me to see if I was OK, and my answer was always ‘too high, couldn’t make it,’ she eventually got used to it… We were really close for a while, we would hang out together, party together. She actually lived in my apartment for a month or so back then, I don’t remember why or what happened exactly that she had to crash with me though.

There’re so many things I could write about her, but I just want to write about the most memorable thing she did for me that made the mark in my heart. When I was 20, after I finally graduated from high school (yes it took a few tries), I decided to go to Harvard for a summer program. I met a guy and decided to move there. I gave up friends, family, career, and tertiary education. I moved to Boston to be with a delivery boy for a family-own Chinese take-out restaurant and I was working as the cashier/phone operator of the restaurant!

My family was devastated, my friends were confused, no one could understand why I was so madly in love with this guy that I would give up everything for. I was in Boston with this boy, we worked together, we played together, we slept together; I completely lost my sense of self. Jane was the only one decided to get to the bottom of this. She was the only one who flew to Boston to visit me. She wanted to see it with her own eyes what was wrong with me.

She came with a girl friend for a week, we had a great time catching up. At the end of the trip, she told me she’s never seen me smile like that before. She could truly see that I was happy and she was happy for me. The relationship didn’t work out in the end but I had a period of my life that I was so head over heels in love that I’ve gone mad.

I love you sister! You’ll always be in my mind! Wish you all the best in heaven!

Has Anyone Ever Killed/Died for You?

We all have good friends in our lives that we claimed they would do anything for us and vice versa. So when was the last time someone “kill/die” for you or do something extremely risky for you? Have you ever done something like that for someone? This is definitely easier said than done, I don’t think I have the guts to do something like that. I was fortunate enough to have such a friend though, her name is Sandy, my god-sister.

Back in my college days, I was a drug dealer. Together with my partner we sold mostly esctasy and ketamine, and sometimes also cocaine. I was in charge of sourcing of E’s and K while he did mostly retail with the help of his sales assistant. We stationed at this club that we hungout almost every night, and we would also do some deliveries.

Being the “sourcing manager” I had to ensure my “product” was good. I didn’t just take my suppliers’ words, so I became the tester. I was trying out different brands 6 nights a week. I would pick out 2 to 3 brands to purchase by Thursday and that would be the supply for the week. Life was good, I was partying almost every night, money was coming in. It was fun. Not that I really needed the income, it was more for the thrill and the sense of accomplishment that I made the money on my own.

One night while we were partying at this club with my god-sister, the cops came in. We thought they were checking their dance license which is not unusual in Hong Kong. [I once had a seminar with the cops (organized by my school), the chief inspector told us that the reason they issue "license" for everything is so that they know of their existance and also have the rights to go check on them.]  They stopped the music, turned on the lights, told us to be quiet, etc, etc…

This time was no ordinary ‘license checking’. A cop went over to handcuff one of my staff in front of everyone and took him away. Turned out that the cop went undercover for 2 previous nights asking for drugs, and it was my sales that gave it to him. As you can imagine, that night turned into quite a nightmare. We were all using our connections with the cops to check if he’s OK, what the story was, if he could get bailed etc, etc…

And as for me, I was very scared. The moment I saw that cop put the handcuffs on him I felt this chill from the bottom of my spine to the top of my head. I remember I was thinking, if this were to happen to me, I would definitely kill myself. I had a bright future ahead of me, I had plans to move to New York after I graduation. If I ended up like this I wouldn’t know how to face my family anymore, I would be so ashamed of myself. I’ve made mistakes in my life, but this would b one mistake that I surely cannot live with.

Did I tell you that other than sourcing I was also in charge of storing? All the stuff was in my home, where I lived with my family. I had about one shoe box full of supply. It did not sound like a lot but that would probably cause me a few years in jail easy. I was so worried, not sure how in depth the cops investigated, if it would link to me. Sandy was really worried too, she kept calling me stupid. We both thought that the drugs should leave my home asap.

My partner, who’s a more experienced criminal, told me to calm down, that nothing would happened. I knew that I overreacted, that he was probably right, but what if he was wrong? I would be the one suffering for the consequences and for me it’s equivalent to a death sentence.

Sandy and I went back to my home to figure out what to do. Sandy decided to help me get the stuff out of my home, without me touching it just in case the cops know my face and were waiting outside for me to took the drugs out. We waited till the morning and called one of my really good friend Isabel to accompany her.

Sandy said to me, “do not do it again,’ and then left with Isabel, with a shopping bag on hand. They went down to the main train station to look for lockers. They found the lockers (with the help of security guards, can you believe it?), put the shopping bag in, got the key, went to meet my partner and dropped off the key.

Sandy: you’re so brave, you really cared about me. You risked your life for me and I’m forever thankful. You should know that I’ll do anything for you too. I love you always…Kate

I Miss My Old Life!

I really hate to admit this, but I miss my old life! I’m not talking about my crazy partying life back in Hong Kong, I’m talking about my New York life.

I mean, I don’t have as much friends in New York comparing to Hong Kong or Shanghai, but I have a core group of really good friends that are like my sisters. I didn’t party as much as but I had so much more other things to do. As for dating life, it sucks everywhere so that don’t matter.

I had a really good life, a life that I couldn’t really complain. My job was challenging but it got easy since I got used to it. I was making good money, I was a shopoholic but yet I didn’t even need to live on a budget. I used to go shopping every other week, Saks was like my mother ship. I lived on the same street as most designer brands such as Dior, LV, Chanel, Burberry, etc… I ate good food, from hole in the wall to fine dining. I would go to see live shows at least once every two weeks, anything from Broadway to opera to concert to ballet. I collected 139 playbills in 6 years. I was so much more cultured when I was there.

I’m missing my old life because I don’t feel very fulfilling right now at this particular moment of my life. Because I’m technically a full time ‘student,’ I feel like all I do is go out, eat, party, and burning cash. I’m not productive at all, I haven’t worked for over 6 months, I’m not learning anything in school other than Italian…and I cannot look for a job since I’m going to Italy in 2 months.

I’ve been feeling like this since beginning of the year, the feeling got worse last week and I had my little ‘episode.’ I’m posting this now, a week later, because I’m finally feeling better, I’m motivated again. I remembered why I left New York. I promise I’ll start blogging more frequently again, so please come back regularly for new post

So if my old life was soooo good, why did I leave that behind? Well, it was because it was getting too easy. I wanted to take risk, I wanted to learn more, and the most important thing is, I wasn’t happy. I was happy ‘in general’, but I wasn’t truly happy, I felt like something was missing, and I need to go find it. I definitely wasn’t happy at work, and I really needed to take a break. So what better way to do it than to find a program to study aboard?

Don’t get me wrong, I still love New York, it’s still my favorite city to live in; I still love my sisters there, I just need to leave for a while so that I can miss it.

Happy 2011!

Dear Everyone,

Welcome to 2011! I wish all of you a brighter and more colorful year! I stopped writing for the entire holiday until now, not that I wanted to though. I was trying soooo hard to think of my most memorable Christmas or most memorable New Year but I couldn’t really think of one that’s worth writing. Some were pretty mellow, most of them I was way too high to remember.

As for 2011, I started off only half drunk, with no drugs, so I guess that’s a good start I am trying to be happier and healthier this year. But of course that’s not what you would be reading, well, not entirely. I’ll be throwing in some more crazier stories with things that I had done that you won’t believe, and of course all the crazy men I’ve dated.

I would love to share my life with you, hope you would continue enjoy reading.

XOXO…Kate

I Miss the Feeling of Being Missed!

Being single, alone, in a strange place often makes people feel lonely. I’ve managed to learn to get pass the loneliness already, partly because I guess I’m more matured and secured about myself. However, sometimes I do think about if I were being missed. Some days when I look at my phone and nobody call or text me I would be thinking to myself ‘nobody miss me today.’

I missed the occasional texts that I used to get when I was dating my ex, they used to put a smile on my face. But of course if I get them now I would be totally annoyed. I missed the late night phone calls I used to get from my friends asking me to go for one more drink, but of course I don’t have that anymore either since they either have a really demanding job or they are married.

I guess I’ll never know or find out if anyone is actually thinking of me… since no one is actually going to tell you because it’s quite stalkerish if they were your ex; or expressing feelings is just not a thing people do a lot. I honestly think we don’t say it enough.

I cannot be the only one that feel this way right? I decided that every time I think about it, I’ll reach out and text some of my friends… and Andy and let them know that I’m thinking of them, or I miss them. If I know that that would put a smile on my face, I’m sure they would be smiling by now that they just received my text.

The Worst Date Ever…Never Dating Asian Again!

I took my best friend’s husband’s suggestion to try dating Asian again. I can only say, WOW, what an experience…

The plan was to meet in a bar and then move onto a restaurant if we can stand each other. I got there first and I tried to call him outside the bar. And then I saw this Asian guy walking towards the bouncer talking to him while checking me out up and down before coming up to tell me that he was the guy I was waiting for. He’s not that tall, maybe 5’7”, not cute, average face, blue jeans, black belt with a big metal buckle, and a yellow mustard color blazer.

So the weirdness begin…The very first thing he said to me after he introduced himself was, “great, you’re wearing a skirt, I hate that legging trend, who started it anyway? Was it Kate Moss?” Next, the bouncer introduced himself to me like this: “Hi, I’m XX, and I like threesome.” I was in shock and couldn’t really think of anything clever to say.

We went inside the bar. He got me a lychee martini, trying to sound smart and said, “did you know that lychee martini is the 4^th most ordered cocktail in NY?” I just nod… and kept smiling. What are you supposed to say to remarks like that anyway??

Our very first real conversation involved a lot of insulting by him: People who go to Broadway shows are gay; people who go to Carnegie Hall are either old or married…

We finished our drinks and walked to the restaurant. Right when we left the bar, he was apologizing about why everyone in the bar, including the owner, was staring at me, because he’s not usually into Asian. I guess I was supposed to feel very flattered…HAHA

After we finished ordering, he pointed to the restaurant across the street and told me that that was the most popular restaurant in the neighborhood. All I could think of was, why were we there then?

He started looking at everything on me including my necklace, earrings, to my nail polish. He decided to pick on my nail polish first. He asked how many days old was my manicure, and he said he wouldn’t have come up and talked to me if I had red nail polish on…huh?

He then moved on to my hair. He told me that my hair was nice, but his was even nicer. He used to have hair longer than mine and it’s silky smooth and shiny.

I asked him what he did for a living. He told me he worked for a financial institute and his job was to ‘make numbers look interesting.’ I really had no clue what that means, so I asked ‘so you make Power Point for a living?’ He did not take that very well…see below…

He continued on insulting me about my height (I’m tiny), my body shape (he said my trainer needs to work me harder); and my accent (he suggested me to talk to the really FOBy Asian guy at the next table since he’s probably my cousin). He asked me if I were the type that danced like an octopus when I go clubbing.

All this time I ate my food with a smile, “say all you want ‘cuz you can’t hurt me, I know how good I look and sound.” He nodded and said “I like you, you have a humble personality.”

Was I insulted? I can assure you I wasn’t. It’s quite fascinating how one person can say so many things for the purpose of hurting someone else’s self esteem. And he was getting quite creative with his insults. When I was telling this story to my friends, they would ask me if he was at least cute. Honestly, I don’t remember, his face was not that memorable, definitely not as memorable as his yellow mustard color blazer.

Right when you thought the date couldn’t get any worse, the waitress left the check and he asked me if I had cash on me. It was $40!!!! He did not have credit card and no cash!!!!! I paid. Then we talked to the corner store across the street so that he could get money from the ATM to pay me back. I took $20 and ended the night.

An interesting fact: Other than his extra effort of insulting me, he also put extra effort of not letting me open any doors. He wouldn’t let me touch the door of the bar, the restaurant, nor the cab. I guess this is his understanding of being a gentleman.