The Worst Date Ever…Never Dating Asian Again!

I took my best friend’s husband’s suggestion to try dating Asian again. I can only say, WOW, what an experience…

The plan was to meet in a bar and then move onto a restaurant if we can stand each other. I got there first and I tried to call him outside the bar. And then I saw this Asian guy walking towards the bouncer talking to him while checking me out up and down before coming up to tell me that he was the guy I was waiting for. He’s not that tall, maybe 5’7”, not cute, average face, blue jeans, black belt with a big metal buckle, and a yellow mustard color blazer.

So the weirdness begin…The very first thing he said to me after he introduced himself was, “great, you’re wearing a skirt, I hate that legging trend, who started it anyway? Was it Kate Moss?” Next, the bouncer introduced himself to me like this: “Hi, I’m XX, and I like threesome.” I was in shock and couldn’t really think of anything clever to say.

We went inside the bar. He got me a lychee martini, trying to sound smart and said, “did you know that lychee martini is the 4^th most ordered cocktail in NY?” I just nod… and kept smiling. What are you supposed to say to remarks like that anyway??

Our very first real conversation involved a lot of insulting by him: People who go to Broadway shows are gay; people who go to Carnegie Hall are either old or married…

We finished our drinks and walked to the restaurant. Right when we left the bar, he was apologizing about why everyone in the bar, including the owner, was staring at me, because he’s not usually into Asian. I guess I was supposed to feel very flattered…HAHA

After we finished ordering, he pointed to the restaurant across the street and told me that that was the most popular restaurant in the neighborhood. All I could think of was, why were we there then?

He started looking at everything on me including my necklace, earrings, to my nail polish. He decided to pick on my nail polish first. He asked how many days old was my manicure, and he said he wouldn’t have come up and talked to me if I had red nail polish on…huh?

He then moved on to my hair. He told me that my hair was nice, but his was even nicer. He used to have hair longer than mine and it’s silky smooth and shiny.

I asked him what he did for a living. He told me he worked for a financial institute and his job was to ‘make numbers look interesting.’ I really had no clue what that means, so I asked ‘so you make Power Point for a living?’ He did not take that very well…see below…

He continued on insulting me about my height (I’m tiny), my body shape (he said my trainer needs to work me harder); and my accent (he suggested me to talk to the really FOBy Asian guy at the next table since he’s probably my cousin). He asked me if I were the type that danced like an octopus when I go clubbing.

All this time I ate my food with a smile, “say all you want ‘cuz you can’t hurt me, I know how good I look and sound.” He nodded and said “I like you, you have a humble personality.”

Was I insulted? I can assure you I wasn’t. It’s quite fascinating how one person can say so many things for the purpose of hurting someone else’s self esteem. And he was getting quite creative with his insults. When I was telling this story to my friends, they would ask me if he was at least cute. Honestly, I don’t remember, his face was not that memorable, definitely not as memorable as his yellow mustard color blazer.

Right when you thought the date couldn’t get any worse, the waitress left the check and he asked me if I had cash on me. It was $40!!!! He did not have credit card and no cash!!!!! I paid. Then we talked to the corner store across the street so that he could get money from the ATM to pay me back. I took $20 and ended the night.

An interesting fact: Other than his extra effort of insulting me, he also put extra effort of not letting me open any doors. He wouldn’t let me touch the door of the bar, the restaurant, nor the cab. I guess this is his understanding of being a gentleman.